


What I Regret...

by Brightblossomofhell



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, First time writing, Fluff and Smut, I promise it gets better, M/M, Minor Armin Arlert/Erwin Smith, Romance, Small fight, Understanding mikasa, ereri, sad thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 13:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2774657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brightblossomofhell/pseuds/Brightblossomofhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a Tumblr post, the idea is not mine, but this story is. </p><p>In a world where humanity still lives in fear of the titans, there's nothing from stopping anyone from pursuing what they want when at any given moment they can fall onto the grasps of death itself.</p><p>Without my concent, my body began to move on its own. I leaned forward, my eyes locked onto the corporal lips as i whispered his name.<br/>My head suddenly snapped to the side from the impact of the punch. My cheek stung, and i could taste blood in my mouth but i was too focused on the disgusted look that had settled on the corporal's face.</p><p>"Filthy brat. What are you trying to do? Do you want to die? Don't tell me you want to kiss? Don't kid yourself! Do you think i would do that disgusting exchange of saliva with you?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eternal sleep

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I originally got this idea from a Tumblr post, and i couldn't stop myself from writing this.  
> Thank you for deciding to give my story a try. I'm so sorry if its not that good, this is the first time i've ever written a fanfiction much less uploaded one. I've always wanted to write Eren x Levi stories yet i could never get everything in words, but i decided i'd give it a try. If you have any comments on how i can improve my writting don't hesitate to leave a comment. Now, on with the story.

Eren's pov  
\-----------------------------

Looking back at everything, I wish I had stopped myself before things escalated to this…maybe then I wouldn’t feel this dread that made my heart ache.

…but then, I would have never have experienced all these emotions. It’s a win-lose situation when you fall in love. You’re able to experience being cared about, feeling complete happiness, and a calmness that sweeps you off your feet.

All this comes with a price. I was aware of it. I knew what I was getting myself into and yet I chose to let it develop further.

I knew that I would end up hurt but at the time I was too lost in the feeling of being acknowledged by the person you think would never glace in your direction.

…Heichou...Will you be happy? Will you miss me?.. I myself doubt it. He won’t have to be on guard anymore around a monster like me. Who know? Maybe that scowl on his face will go away. You’ll finally be free from babysitting this brat.

I can’t help but feel loneliness at the thought of being away from you and I know it’s selfish of me but I can’t stop hating the person that might be by your side after all this. I hate myself for that.

Maybe I should have stopped myself back then. I shouldn’t have agreed to this.

Corporal, I love you.

 No matter how much I tell myself that I wish this would have never happened, I know I’d do it a thousand times over. I don’t know where you are; I hope you’re not looking in my direction at the moment. I don’t want you to witness what’s going to happen next.

My eyes roam the ground below from inside the titan. There are bodies of soldiers scattered around, the ground is stained crimson red. Titans with deep cuts in the back of their necks lay motionless, their bodies occupying most of the ground. There are more of them lying sprawled around. The landscape is completely destroyed, trees are broken, and bushes are now painted red, craters on the ground in different directions.

Despite all this though, there’s cheering. Joy filled shouts cut through the air.

Beaten up, covered in dirt, and injured the soldiers jumped into the air in victory. Others lay on their knees; tears fell from their eyes as grins settled on their face. Hugs were exchanged and the excitement will surely not wear off for a long time.

“We did it!” “Take that you beasts of hell!” “Did you guys see that?? I was so cool out there.” “HUMANITY HAS WON.”

We won. No.

They won. Humanity has finally achieved victory against the titans. They have gained freedom!

 

 

I couldn’t ask for anything more. My gaze fell onto all of my friends. I was the luckiest person on earth. I had a childhood friends who shares my dreams and always stuck by me no matter what, family who will sacrifice their life to protect me. And…the one who will never fall in love with me. The one I love the most.

I felt a sting behind my eyelids and soon tears began to fall. The salty droplets raced down my cheek, there was no indication that they would stop anytime soon. Crying of happiness? Of sadness? I don’t know. They just kept spilling without a certain reason to why.

Smiling to myself, I made a decision. There’s no need for a Titan shifter any more. Humanity is no longer livestock. They can roam the world making discoveries and living in peace, the survey corps will surely be dispatched since there are no titans left.

Yes, they all must go. This body can’t withstand pain without triggering a protection instinct. I also don’t want to burden Levi-Heichou anymore with having to make him kill me. Even someone as cool and collected as Heichou would be affected by taking the life of a human being.

I’m no longer needed in this world. Surely I’ll be sent to be executed after this despite the help I’ve contributed to humanity. They won’t feel completely safe until every last titan has been exterminated. I’m a monster and even worse a ticking time bomb in their eyes.

Armin will surely have a bright future. Mikasa will have a better life without having to look after me. Heichou will live a peaceful life. He’ll surely have a beautiful wife who will love him. He can start a family. But most importantly, he can have a normal life.

Is it okay? Is it okay, Corporal, if I don’t stop loving you? Can I love you forever?

I hope you say yes.

Yes...Its better this way.

I close my eyes, scared of what I’m going to do next. I felt a weight being lifted off of my shoulders.

My brain slowly shuts down as I feel my body begin to crystallize.

Hot smoke begins to sprout out of the titan as it turns from skin to bones. While the titan body begins to decay to bones, I’m slowly being consumed by the crystal. There’s no turning back now.

My senses start to numb into nothing.

That’s weird. I think I hear someone calling out my name?

Footsteps turning in to a frantic run.

I can’t be sure.

I’m so tired. I want to return back to the times when I was happy with corporal by my side even if it wasn’t exactly what I wanted. I wish I could have expressed my affection towards you one last time but it seems I’m running out of time. I wanted to be held in your arms once more while I grasped your shirt as if my life depended on it. I wanted to feel your lips pressed against mine. Most of all, I wanted to hear you say you love me. I’m aware that these are simple wishes and nothing more. This could never happen because I’m simply your toy and a freak.

**All I want is to sleep, forever.**


	2. Victorious       sorrow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long, I was planning on updating yesterday but I decided to make it a little longer. Thank you to very one for the kudos and your comments! Please enjoy^-^

Levi'spov  
\--------------------------

The cheers and enlightened shouts were carried by the air, but I couldn't focus on anything. I needed to find him. I need to tell him.

I need to apologize to Eren.

My eyes searched frantically around for the Titan shifter with the bright emerald eyes and messy brown hair. Is he still inside the Titan?

There was a mass of smoke that blocked my vision, where is he? Jumping on top of a dead Titan for leverage, I tried to pin point where the brat was, my heart beat sped up when it took longer. I heard a heavy thud from behind me in the distance. Turning around, I was greeted by the site of Eren in his Titan form.

It had fallen to its knees exhausted. It was missing an entire arm along with a foot. Bite marks decorated it's skin having no specific pattern.

That's wasn't what made my eyes widen though.

All thoughts were gone. My mind became empty unable to form any words. I could only stare in horror as the Titan began to release a burning smoke.

My feet moved forward slowly at first then broke into a panicked run.

no.  
No. Eren.

What..?

...why?

My heart was hammering against my chest now and my breath came out as short heavy pants. My legs felt heavy and sore but I couldn't stop myself from running. Faster. Faster. Eren!

The Titan began to decay and break apart revealing the insides, bones replaced the skin that was once present. Smoke poured out of it, and the closer I got the hotter it became. Clenching my teeth together I pushed forward despite the hot smoke. You shitty brat! You better be safe! You better not be hurt or I swear..

Reaching his side, I slowed my pace, disbelief consuming me. No. What's happening? Eren?

He laid on his back, eyes closed in slumber, except..he was slowly being cocooned in a case of crystal. It was slowly beginning to cover him completely, only having encased half of him at the moment. Reaching toward i cradled him to my chest.

"E-Eren? What.." My voice sounded strange, rather than the cold and authority filled voice, it was now replaced by a weak and helpless whisper. My hand reached touched the crystal where his face was being covered. "Eren, Wake the hell up! Oi! You fucking brat!" The longer he took to respond the more my shoulders began to shake.

"Eren. Eren. Eren! EREN! What do you think you're doing? You can't run away like a coward, wake up! If you don't snap out of it I promise you I'll beat you to a pulp!" My promise was weak, even to my ear. My voice had began to crack and break.

He was almost completely crystallized by now. No. He can't. He..

" Eren, please. You can't do this to me. You damn brat, you said you loved me. Why? Why now? Are you planning to leave me behind? Eren. Snap out of it...i beg of you. Please, we won. We won Eren! I'm sorry, I'm sorry for lying. I do love you Eren! I love you! I didn't want to get too close to you! I didn't want to lose you, but I'm sorry." The unfamiliar sting that had been present in my eyes had now turned into tears. They raced down after another without stopping.

"Eren..you can't die. You can't leave me. You can't run away from me. Why? After we finally achieved peace? We could have lived peacefully together. I was planning to tell you but..I-it seems I can't...I'm sorry."

Clutching him closer to me, I bowed my head so that our foreheads touched. My tears falling into his face or as of now the cristal. The weight of the material because too much to stand and I was forced to let go as it grew more. I was now aware of the footsteps that we're getting closer. There were lots.

I don't want the others here. They'll take Eren. Leave. Just leave. Eren's mine and mine alone...Eren decided this. Does that mean that he wanted to leave. Leave me behind? Did he get tired of my antics? Dammit! This is my fault! My fault! I drove him to this.

 

At this thought the tears fell faster and before I was aware, a hand had settled onto my shoulder. I didn't bother to look up. Various sets of footsteps races to my side and dropped to the ground, the Titan shifters name escaping from their lips. Standing up I turned away from the scene and walked away leaving Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha, and Connie by Eren's side.

My eyes roamed the battlefield and witnessed at the Titans shifters encased in crystal. Ymir, Reiner, Beethoven, and Annie. They all decided to crystallize themselves?

I watched as Christa knelt down in front of Ymir. She was sobbing uncontrollably as she hugged the crystallized Ymir. The bold girl always had feeling for the cold female yet didn't dare to confess.

At least what they have is a mutual love relationship. My own voice mocked. Yeah, I wasn't even sure Eren held any romantic feelings for me anymore. I screwed up really bad and I couldn't even make up for it.

A hand fell onto my shoulders followed by an all familiar deep voice. "Levi, we have to go..I'm sorry."

Tsk. "I don't need your pity Erwin." With that being said I walked back to the boy who had captured my heart. Stopping a few feet away, I watched as all his friends bowed their heads and sobs escaped them. Mikasa was sobbing uncontrollably, hands clutching the crystallized Eren. Armin was biting down on his lip, silent tears fell as his shoulders shook. Connie, with tears and snot falling, was comforting Sasha as she released gasped cries. Jean had his back turned, head bowed and fists clenched.

"Come on, kiddos. We don't have all day, it's time to head back, so fucking move it." I'm not going to show weakness to any of them. The only one who can see me in that wrecked state is the brat. No one else.

Standing up, they brushed past me, mikasa shooting me a murderous glare. She'd have to do better than that. I watched as they all walked away and I turned to stare down at Eren again.

A quiet but serious voice spoke behind me. Armin. "You loved him."

It wasn't a question. It was a statement that didn't need confirmation, but I found myself giving one anyway. An emotionless voice responded to him. " More than he'll ever know."

With that, the footsteps faded. Eren was loaded onto to the wagons along with the other Titan shifters. We began our journey back to the walls, preparing to celebrate, yet wherever there's a light, there's a dark. We have won, yet we have lost.

__________________________________

"Hello Eren. It's been a month since you've been asleep. It seems like it's been forever since you've been gone. I wish you could wake up and come home. I miss you. Ne, Eren? I'm sorry.." My voice echoed slight in the room.

Eren was placed in he middle of the room with chains holding the crystallized teen still. He hadn't shown any signs of waking up. Hanji's report still replayed itself In my mind.

Flashback

"It's come to this and yet we still don't understand Titans at all. Although we know their origin and weaknesses, we still don't know about their world and feelings, we still know nothing. In the end, after the Titans were exterminated, Eren, along with his fellow Titan-shifters youth from the 104th, chose the exact same end. Without current technology and resources we have no way of dealing with them. We can only watch them helplessly as they sleep on. Currently we can't even determine if the person inside the crystal is alive, let alone wake them up. I'm afraid the only solution is to wait and see if he can wake up on his own."

End of flashback

She had reported to me yesterday.

"Eren." I raised my eyes to his as I tried to remember the smile that had seemed permanent on his face, until a month ago. His brown hair was still messy in a cute way. His eyes were closed and I was afraid they would never again open to reveal their beautiful color. His long lashes rested against his cheeks. Trailing down to his lips, I remembered the day before the expedition outside the wall when we won against the titans.

Flashback

Walking into his room, that had been moved from the jail cell in the dungeon, I spotted him reading a book.

"Oi, brat."

Jumping up from the bed just to stumble over the covers and fall into the floor, Eren stood up and saluted. "Yes, levi-heichou?"

"Strip." Was my only response. But that was enough. After Eren had confessed to me two weeks ago, I had tried to do anything to make him forget about me, to hate me, but it wouldn't work. He can't fall in love with me. He needs to find someone his age and someone who will care for him always.

I had tried physical contact with him yet his reply was, " I love you corporal. With anyone else I would probably feel disgusted, but if its heichou who wants me like thus, then I'm happy."

"Then so be it," I had responded.

I pushed him into the mattress while pining his arms above his head. Holding both his wrists with one hand, the other went under his shirt as my mouth latched onto his neck.

"Wa-wait..h-heichou"

Kissing his collarbone, I made my way upward, leaving behind small marks as I went a long. Reaching the the part of his neck where he was most sensitive, I bit down just to drag my tongue after then proceeded to suck on the spot making sure to leave a mark.

"H-heichou, ugh" Raising my head I looked at Eren's face. His messy hair was all over the place. Eyes lid half open with a darkened shade of teal. He was panting heavily as his face flushed red.

He looked delicious.

Discarding both of our clothing, I continued to kiss, lick, and suck down his chest as he gasped for air.

" oh, corporal, p-please.."

With that, I pushed two finger into him. He gasped loudly and squirmed in discomfort. Adding a third finger into him, I stretched him until he was whining and turning his head to the side. His face portraying bliss with a permanent blush staining his checks. He whined in complain as I pulled my fingers back. Without a word, I pushed my erection inside him.

"A-ah!" His hands clenched around the sheets while his back arched, mouth open in a silent scream. Teal colored eyes were squeezed shut with tears gathering.

It felt so good. He was enveloping me a with warmth that was unreal. I had to restrain myself from moving before he had adjusted.

"Ugh, oi brat. I'm moving."

"O-okay levi-corporal."

The rhythm was fast and hard, it had Eren whimpering underneath me. His head turned left and right, the sounds that seem to escape his throat only helped to excite me more. Sweat glimmered on him and at that moment I wanted nothing more than to kiss him helplessly. But kissing him would mean a sign on love and affection. I couldn't reveal how I truly feel about him..at least not yet. With sex I simply pass it off as lust and he seems content with that. Instead I bowed my head and continued to move in and out of him.

My head snapped up when I felt a set of hands carefully settled on the sides of my head and Eren looked up at me with a dazed look as he pulled himself in a sitting position. He leaned in closer, teal eyes closing as he leanings in to kiss me.

No.

Before I could rethink my actions, my fist had pulled back and struck Eren on the check. His head had turned to the side, his eyes wide with shock, a bruise was sure to be present in the morning. My face was one of cold heartlessness and disgust.

"Filthy brat, what are you trying to do? Do you want to die? Don't tell me you want to kiss? Don't kid yourself! Do you think I would do that disgusting exchange of saliva with you? So fucking disgusting," I spat out harshly.

"I'm very sorry corporal," he spoke in a hushed whisper with sorrow filling his tone. He placed his forearm over his eyes, shielding them from me. " it's me who's being too foolish." Tears fell from his eyes, not even his arm could hide them.

I wanted to hold him tight in my arms and comfort him, express my love for him, and apologize. But Instead I was a coward and stood still, no words seem to come to mind.

End of flashback

Leaning toward I placed my lips onto the cold crystal where Eren's lips would be. "Eren this is today's good morning kiss. Tonight's one, I'll give it to you at night. I'll come back at sun set. Ne...Eren? Can you feel that?....I'm kissing you."


	3. The beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry everyone! Happy holidays, I hope you're enjoying your time off. I was stuck on this chapter despite knowing what I was going to do next. This is small, I'm aware, but I'll make it up to you guys in the next chapter. Thank you for your kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

Levi's pov

_________________________

It's been a year.

The scouting region has dispersed and with the Titans eliminated, humanity can live in peace once more. Life within the walls is now a serene place where everyone can live in tranquility. Residents who lived inside the walls continue to live their lives there but now the world beyond the walls is open to everyone. Even the cities that lay hidden under ground are being abandoned due to the spaciousness the Titan-free world had to offer. It's been a whole year since humanities victory against the Titans was made, and yet regardless, the Titan shifters who fought along side the soldiers of the survey corps still slumber. They are under watch by the most trusted soldiers, commander Erwin, captain levi, squad leader Hanji, and commander Pixis. 

Some say it's for the best. Despite everything that the shifters did to eliminate the Titans, the citizens within the walls who were unfortunate enough to witness the destruction caused by the Titans refuse to let them live. The fear that the Titans placed in them still sits in their hearts and the hatred they have for the beasts drives them to throw compassion to the wind. It's not like they're to blame, humans love life and see death as a terrible end that they wish never existed. Once they are shown fear, logic seems to disappear. They would rather betray than have their own lives end before their time.

Despite how much the Titan shifters helped, the citizens couldn't see past their fear and hatred. Everyone was holding their breaths in anticipating for when the five Titans would wake up. When a court case had been held regarding what actions were to be taken if they should wake up, most jumped to respond with eliminating them. 

Filthy human trash. 

They knew nothing about how much courage it took to put your life in the line and fight the bloodthirsty Titans, they only knew about surviving themselves.

All the regiments had gathered together along with civilians. The excuses that spewed out their mouths was disgusting and infuriating.

"Why should we let them live?"

"They did their job and that's it. There's no more need for them!"

"They should be thankful that we gave them a chance to be part of humanity for even a little bit of time."

"Who's to know they won't turn on us?"

"What if they rampage?"

"They're a nuisance to humanity! They must be executed so that we may be able to finally live in peace!"

"THEY'RE ALL WORTHLESS, FILTHY ANIMALS THAT SHOULD BE KILLED! THEY DID NOTHING BUT WRECK THE TOWN. THAT JAËGER KID DID WAY MORE DAMAGE THAN HELP!"

At that brainless comment, my patience snapped. I stood rooted into my spot, slamming my fist into the wood in front of me that separated the regiments. My head was bowed slightly allowing my raven hair to shadow my eyes from the stares that had settled onto me. My voice was monotones and lingering with harsh coldness that I myself wasn't aware was possible. "Before you begin throwing around accusations, labeling someone's life worthless, think about your own existence and actions. I didn't see any of you having the balls to go out into the battle field, ready to contribute to humanity's victory. None of you shitty excuses of human beings have even witnessed a Titan with your eyes and before you open your mouth to spew brainless retaliations towards me, just remember that when you did lay your eyes on those creatures you ran with your tail between your legs." I raised my head and placed my piercing narrowed eyes on them. "After all the hardships those brats had to go through, we toss them aside as if they're worthless?" 

A laugh full of mock escaped my lips. "Without their help you'd all be at the mercy of the Titans. If this is the thanks that they receive for sacrificing everything for you then I would say that they have every right to turn against you. You truly disgust me, sometimes I wonder who the real monsters are."

By the time I had finished my little speech, the villagers that were so focused on the death of the Titan shifters looked sickly pale, guilt had settled over some of their faces while some, stupid and stubborn fools, had an angered look on their faces. "If you have any problems with what I've said, speak now and I'll gladly put you in your place, a mere human is child's play compared to a Titan. Now. I dare you."

I glanced at Darius Zackly who was once again in charge of judging the final outcome of the court case. He has a small smile on his face and while I didn't show it I relaxed because in the end he had all the power to decide the shifters fates. 

He spoke drawing all the attention to him once more. " That should be all then, I presume, I have made a decision. The Titan-soldiers of the 104th regiment are to be left alone due to the victories they helped us achieve. The only valid reason for attacking them is if they lose control over their power. Unless those circumstances are met, they are to part-take in normal human life activities."

Ne, Eren? Did you hear? We could live like normal human being. If you'd only wake up. Wake up soon, because when you do, I'll kick your ass for being an idiot, but I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Just wake up.

A quiet voice spoke up next to me drawing me away from my thoughts. "U-um captain L-levi?" Arlert spoke timidly before me. 

"Speak up." I demanded

He jumped slightly, "u-um sir! I just wanted to thank you for what you said. It helped a great deal in convincing everyone. I was surprised when you spoke up, I didn't know you were so affected by their comments."

That last part angered me a little, "what? I think you got the wrong idea mushroom top," the nickname received a surprised look from Arlert and from behind him I saw Erwin glare at me, huh. Interesting. "Don't start to get sappy on me. It just pissed me off that these good for nothing shits were being so hypocritical."

I walked away from them and as I passed Ackerman, she nodded and there was nothing more to say.

By the time I had stepped outside, the day had fallen into darkness, stars littered randomly on the sky. I walked towards the underground room that Eren was being held in, Hanji had already left which was good because I didn't feel like dealing with her. My steps echoed through the room as I walked the long corridors to the room. Arriving to the room I prepared myself for the daily routine. 

In the middle of the room Eren stood encased in crystal. The day Eren slipped away into sleep, I knew everything wouldn't be the same. My nightmares that had portrayed my comrades and close family dying were replaced by Eren's departure from reality. It played over in my mind like a broken recording. I miss you Eren. 

Walking forward, I placed my hands onto the cool surface that was soon followed by my forehead. I miss those emerald eyes that shined brightly even after everything that they had witnessed. His sheepish smile when he did something stupid and his adorable blush when I called him out on things. He resembled a hyper puppy so much. A small smile had formed into my face at the memories. Closing my eyes, I leaned forward and placed my lips onto where his would be. Oh how I wish I could have thrown caution to the wind back then and kissed him repeatedly. 

Pulling away I gazed at his face trying to memorize every beautiful feature of his sleeping face. His long dark lashes rested on his cheeks, skin that looked smooth. A small smile was frozen onto his lips. 

"Eren, you won't be bothered by those morons any more, even without an official decision, you wouldn't have to worry because I'll be sure to give them a moment of fear they'll never forget. So, you can wake up anytime you want. Goodnight Eren. I love you."

Turning around I walked away from the brat that had caused me so much misery and yet I wouldn't trade it for anything. As my hand reached the door handle, it was pulled open abruptly.

Hanji came bursting through the room almost knocking foreheads with me. A serious and happy look was splattered onto her face. Her eyes lit up when she discovered me in the room. "Levi!" She was panting heavily. "I found you!"

"What do you want?" I asked with annoyance. Yet i knew she knew better.

"IT'S YMIR!" 

My eyes widened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was mean of me especially on Christmas. I hate cliffhangers but I just couldn't help myself. Merry Christmas/ Happy Holidays!! ^_^


	4. Inside the slumber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have a look inside of Eren's dream state before I reveal what occurs next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry! I've put off updating for so long but I assure you, I'm not planning on abandoning this story. I had begun SAT prep classes after school and I finally finished. I have to take the SAT test on feb.7 and I'm freaking out. So sorry if I took so long to update. There was just too much on my plate. Enough about me though, on with the story. Thank you everyone for your kudos, comments, and bookmarks!
> 
> The song used in this fanfiction does not belong to me.
> 
> Band: Starset  
> Song: My demons

Eren's pov  
\-------------------------------

You know when you suddenly lose yourself in deep though that you forget where you are or what you're doing at the moment? 

Your gaze settles on anything, without really looking at it or examining it but the image is foggy while you're lost in thought. 

Well, that was what I was doing a few moments ago before I regained my consciousness once more. 

When I became aware of my surroundings, I was confused. I was standing in the middle of a forest. 

Not to mention the weird outfit I had on, along with the heavy metal that was strapped tightly to my hips. 

The trees seemed to surround me completely as they stretched from the ground up as if reaching for the clouds. 

Where was I? 

The leaves of the trees only allowed small streams of light to pass through, enough that I was able to see around me but not enough that anyone above the trees may view inside.

It was peaceful and serene. It had a feeling of safety and a warmness that pulled you in. 

I have no idea where or why I'm here. 

I was alone and with no idea where to go.

 

From above me, I head the thud of metal against wood followed by something gliding through the air. It was getting closer and curiosity got the best of me. 

A figure appeared far away gliding throughout the air, it was a blurry image that was approaching fast. Metal pierced the wood on a tree a couple feet from me and the blurry figure started to became clearer.

Raven hair danced around a sharp structured face, thin eyebrows, liquid silver colored eyes that were narrowed and surrounded by sleep deprivation, and lips set into a firm line. 

He was defenetly handsome, despite his short stature, and at first glance you could tell that he was cold and represented authority. 

I wonder who he was...

 

"Oi! Eren, what are you doing spacing out? come on. Follow me."

Without thinking it throughly, I had already began to follow him. 

Even thought I've never used this weird machine, I felt a familiar feeling as my hands and feet moved on their own to jump into the air and command the metal to pierce the wood of the trees as I was lifted into the air. 

I followed the handsome stranger, the dark green cloth wrapped around his shoulders flowed behind him in an almost fairy tale like style.

My only thoughts were to talk to this stranger and the curiosity took over. 

"Hey, Wait!" I shouted. 

He didn't respond in any matter that showed he had heard so I assumed he hadn't heard me or chose to not speak.

He stopped on top of a tree, high up, leaving enough space for us to take a couple of steps to left or right but if at any moment you walked a little too much you'd plummet to the ground.

"I didn't think you'd stay behind spacing out when I told you we've only got about an hour," he spoke.

His gaze turned to me, face expressionless, and eyes that pierced me. 

I felt a chill but refused to shiver. That would only give him the satisfaction. 

"Are you okay? You're awfully quiet for a noisy brat." 

His face stayed the same but his eyes now shone with concern.

For some reason I felt my face heat up with a blush and nodded my head, my eyes focusing on the thick tree branch we stood on. 

Footsteps walked forward in my direction but I couldn't lift my head.

A hand grasped my chin and slowing lifted it, the blush only intensified. The beautiful stranger smirked and leaned forward placing a light kiss onto my forehead.

My palms were sweaty, my heart thumped against my chest, but all I felt was comfort like I've known him my whole life.

He chuckled, grabbed my hand and sat down against the tree trunk, pulling me down along with him. He parted his legs and sat me down with my back pressed to his chest. 

"What's wrong?"

"I'm scared about the expedition outside the walls tomorrow," the words spilled out without my knowledge. Expedition outside the walls? What did that mean?

"Brat, shouldn't you be used to that already? What's there to be scared about?"

I didn't speak, only leaned back further into the back of the warm person behind me. Arms envelopes me pulling me closer and hugging me from behind. Ah, this felt nice...I could fall asleep.

"Hey, levi? Can I hear that song again, the one you remember from your childhood?"

So that was his name. 

Levi.

He buried his face against the side of my neck. He hummed as an okay. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes prepared to listen to the song that i had no knowledge of.

His voice was smooth and gravely, the kind in a good way that melted your nervousness and left you feeling as if you were floating. 

Mayday! Mayday!  
The ship is slowly sinking,

They think I'm crazy but they don't know the feeling.  
They're all around me, circling like vultures.  
They wanna break me and wash away my colors,  
Wash away my colors.

Take me high and I'll sing, oh you make everything  
Okay, okay, okay,  
Okay, okay, okay.

We are one and the same,  
Oh you take all the pain  
Away, away, away,  
Away, away, away.

Save me if I become my demons. 

I cannot stop this sickness taking over,  
It takes control and drags me into nowhere.

I need your help.  
I can't fight this forever,  
I know you're watching,  
I can feel you out there.

Take me high and I'll sing,  
Oh you make me everything  
Okay, okay, okay,  
Okay, okay, okay.

We are one and the same,  
Oh you take all of the pain  
Away, away, away,  
Away, away, away.

Save me if I become my demons.

Take me over, the walls below,  
Fly forever, don't let me go.

I need a savior to heal my pain,  
When I become my worst enemy, the enemy.

Take me high and I'll sing,  
Oh you make everything  
Okay, okay, okay,  
Okay, okay, okay.

We are one and the same,  
Oh you take all of the pain  
Away, away, away,  
Away, away, away.

Save me if I become my demons.

"Where did you hear that from?"

His face still lay buried into the side of my neck as he whispered. His breath making me shiver, if he noticed he didn't say anything.

"A close friend of mine taught it to me. His mother had sung it to him all the time until she had passed away. He shared it with me before he left as well."

After that I felt honored and a warmth spread through my chest at the thought that levi had shared something so close to him with me.

"Thank you."

He grunted in response and no words were exchanged after that. We laid there enjoy each other's company before we had to head back. 

I felt him nudge me, telling me to stand. As we stood to leave, he looked at me once more before he began to walk away. 

I moved my feet after him but discovered that I couldn't move. My feet weren't listening to commands.

I decided to call out to levi, fear began to over take me when I realized I couldn't speak. 

He stopped a couple of feet away and turned his head to look back at me.

His tone was pleading and filled with sorrow as he spoke. 

"It's time to go. I'm afraid to say this but I have a feeling that we might not see each other again. I've been waiting for you and I'll keep waiting but my time will not last forever. I want us to have happy times together. Memories that we can look back on. I want to give you my everything and for you to do the same. I want to apologize for my mistakes and spend the rest of my life making up for it. I'm sorry, Eren. I love you. I love you so much. Please wake up."

He began to walk away, his figure slowly disappearing.

Wait...

Don't go.

"Wake up."

"Wake up Eren."

"Come back home."

He disappeared into the darkness that had consumed everything. I turned my head, looking at every direction as the world was enveloped in black.

I found myself looking at nothing.

I was alone.

A crack.

It sounded like glass.

Sounds like something is breaking but I can't see anything. 

Cracks start to appear in the darkness. The lines having no order as they multiplied.

More cracks.

I'm vision was hazy. Everything was fuzzy and colors moved all around. I waited for my vision to clear. 

I was in a room, only one door being the a way to get inside or outside. Sunlight was lighting up the room thanks to the giant hole that adored the ceiling. 

Turning my eyes to the only other person in the room, I watched as their mouth opened up in surprise, eyes widening. 

Then a big smile lit up their face. 

"Eren."

Everything that had happened came back to me in flashes. Humanity winning. The Titans are gone. They won. Levi. My decision. Saying goodbye. 

The crystal shattered to pieces releasing me from its grasp. 

My reflexes allowing me to land on my knees rather than my face. I raised my head to look at the person before me with desperation.

"Hanji."

"Where's levi?.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and I'll update within a week again. Feel free to leave a comment, I always love hearing from fellow readers. Thank you for being understanding!


	5. Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have a look into what's happening with Ymir awakening and Levi going to deal with the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .....I have absolutely no excuse for not updating except school.  
>  So sorry for the VERY late update and i'll try to get better at updating regularly. This story is coming to an end very soon and i'm really glad that you've taken the time to read this first timer's fanfiction. Thank you for the the kudos, comments and bookmarks! On with the new update!

Eren’s pov  
\--------------------------------------

 

The wind was harsh against my face as I glided through the air and yet I paid no attention to it. 

Instead my mind was completely over taken by the “what if’s” that could be true the minute I arrived on to the battle field.  
What if something had happened to Levi? Hanji was only able to tell me that Ymir had awoken before I ran out of the room in panic.

What if Levi was hurt? What if Ymir had rampaged? Were they okay? What if Levi was fighting Ymir? With all these thoughts in my head I barely took notice of my surroundings. I had to get to Levi and see for myself that he was alright and to…

I don’t know. I don’t know what I was planning to do much less say when I saw him again.

I wasn’t even aware of how much time had passed since I’ve been encased in the crystal. How long has it been? How were everyone’s lives now? The question awoke conflicting thoughts; I didn’t know what I was supposed to feel. Happy; that everyone had gathered up their lives and were living how they dreamed of? Or sad, that depending on the time, I couldn’t be able to be part of their lives. 

I was probably a stranger among them now. 

Would seeing me cause conflict? I hope not. I know Mikasa and Armin well enough to know that if they saw them, they’ll be happy and angry at the same time. They’d cry and then a seemingly endless lecture will follow. And I couldn’t wait. But. What would Heichou’s reaction be?

Despite the worrisome thought, a smile spread across my face. At least I got to see how Captain Levi’s life is now that he can be free and happy.

I truly hope that everyone now has a comforta--- “Fuck!” I dived to the right, barely avoiding a stone chimney.  
Okay, no more getting distracted. Now that I was closer, more houses appeared unlike the scenery from before. I was getting close. 

How could I tell? Maybe it was terrified screams of the villagers. Maybe.

Please let only Ymir be awake. If Lady Luck could be on my side for once, it’ll be greatly appreciated. Please let it only be one, please let it be only one…

Landing on a roof top, I paused to take a look at the scene before me.

Well, fuck you too! 

No homes were destroyed as far as I could see, the villagers were scattering in every direction trying to avoid not only one titan but three others. 

Fan-fucking-tastic.

There was something wrong though. There were no sounds of bodies gliding through the air on the 3D maneuver gear. No swords being drawn.

All four titans stood in the center of town, easily avoiding any houses, breathing heavily and staring down onto something. Growling could be heard as if they were trying to communicate with one another.

Heading forward, I could spot a lone figure standing before the titans. 

I froze a few buildings back. He looked exactly the same as last time I had laid eyes on him. 

What was happening?

The look on his face was one of neutral feeling; some things never change, do they?  
The titan shifters and Levi-Heichou stood facing one another, unmoving as if the slightest movement could set the other one off, and in this situation, it was very likely to happen.

“What the fuck do you dimwits think you’re doing? Stand down now,” the command was spoken in such a low but clear tone that was deeper than usual with an underlining of anger.

A low growl came from Ymir, but I was unable to move my eyes away from the captain to see her bare her teeth.  
Drawing his swords, Levi stood composed before the titan.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” his eyes narrowed as if challenging her, “Stand down and this will end better for both of us. Now, don’t make me tell you twice!”

A growl erupted from her throat, and I felt myself take a sharp intake of air. She launched forward, charging head first to where Levi had stood not a second ago, after he had dodged to the right. Just as quickly, he turned sharply in an attempt to land onto her head, but missed when she jumped backwards a couple of feet away, successfully avoiding him.

They kept at it, their movements reminding Eren of an intense game of tag. One move out of order could cost the other a major injury or possibly more. And when Heichou did exactly that, my throat closed up, cutting off my air and my heart beat was much easier to hear, every beat was loud.

Dropping onto a defense position, Ymir shot forward, her sharp claws outstretched, slicing Levi’s arm with three long scratches. Levi wouldn’t leave it like that though, and released the swords from their handle in order to end up piercing Ymir’s eyes.  
Blood ran down heavily from the wound along with smoke indicating that she would heal quickly. 

A choked screech of pain came from the injured dark haired female titan. Hands flew to her face, grasping onto her head in an attempt to sooth her pain.

“Ready to stop? Give it up, kid. I don’t want to do anything unnecessary and then have to explain to that blond girl what happened.”

With one eye healed, Ymir glared at Levi. 

“Got something to say?” he taunted at her. 

She opened her mouth, baring the row of sharpened teeth, and growled loudly. 

It echoed throughout the empty streets. The blond female titan watched the events unfold with a bored expression while the two male titan shifters were growling softly to one another, communicating. 

Their heads were close, foreheads touching, as if to apologize and show proof of affection.

I freakin’ knew it. They screamed of sexual frustration since day one. Horse-face soo owes me money, to hell with the time that has passed, I so called it!

“YMIR!”

The cry gathered the attention of everyone, as a group of very familiar people came running over. They wore normal attires, no uniforms, 3D maneuver gear, or swords in sight with the exception of Erwin and Hanji. I’m glad. Armin, Mikasa, Erwin, Hanji, Jean, Sasha, and Connie joined Captain Levi. Krista ran past them without hesitation and approached Ymir.  
She ran forward and embraced her ankle. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she let out chocked sobs. 

“Ymir! Ymir! Ymir!” 

She let out a wail, almost as if she was dreading this moment was merely a dream and she’d awake to find herself alone once more.

I had a feeling it would only be a matter of time before those two got together.

Now…What am I to do?

Do I go down there? Would seeing me upset them? What if they were better off without me? 

“Captain Levi!” Armin’s voice broke me out from my train of thought. “I need to know something. All the titan shifters are present, and they’ve awoken...Where’s Eren?”

No. 

No. Now they’d find out.

My breathing became much more difficult and my chest tightened. No. They’re better off. They don’t need to deal with a burden such as myself. 

I was gasping for breath now. I tried to breath, greedily taking the air around me but to no success. My hand flew to my chest and grasped at the cloak, where my heart would be present. 

This can’t be happening. They look happy like this. Everyone had a life of their own. I’d just make things much difficult.

There’s nothing more I can say or do to show Levi-Heichou how much I care…I can’t get myself together; I’m a ticking time bomb that could harm anyone one close to me at any time. I wanted to be everything that Captain would want, but as a failure, that would be impossible. I couldn’t function properly without him. I had restless nights, and I don’t have anything to look forward to once everything had ended.

Panic and fear set in and tears pricked the back of my eyes, begging to be released. My vision began to blur and I turned away from the scene before me.

I could still get away.

I began my pace towards no actual destination. I stumbled as I was yanked by a hold on my cloak. Inhaling sharply, I didn’t dare to look back. My eyes were wide, tears falling freely and my heart was pounding, I was sure the person behind me could hear it. 

A low growl sounded from behind me. Without my consent, I dared to turn my head slightly and my eyes met short blond hair and blue eyes. Annie. 

She saw me.

Before another thought or plan could form in my mind, I was lifted from by my cape and turned toward the small crowd of people I’ve known and come to know. They were unaware of my presence; the female titan walked a couple steps forward and growled, effectively drawing the attention to us while I hanged in the air, frozen.

 

“Eren...”


End file.
